December 2, 2008

By Jason Thompson

If I call your name, please stand up:  St. Louis Rams, Seattle Seahawks, Detroit Lions, Cleveland Browns, Kansas City Chiefs, and Cincinnati Bengals.  If you are standing, I am sorry to say that your season is officially over.  All of these teams have been eliminated from the 2008 Playoffs.   Before we recap the Week 13 games, here are a few of the big stories from last week.

Plaxico Burress

He shot himself in the rear with an illegally possessed fire-arm.  When you consider the multiple levels of dumb this single act incorporated you have to wonder if, given the point of impact, Plaxico suffered any brain damage.  This was such an incredibly selfish act it would not surprise me if Plaxico demanded he be charged with attempted murder given he, the single most important player on the team (in his mind), was shot.  It looks like Plaxico can say good-bye to his career as he now faces a mandatory 3 ½ year jail sentence and the Mayor of New York is screaming for Burress' hide. 

Was the Colts' Win Impressive?

I don't know what to make of the Colts win (10-6 over the Browns).  They beat a team on the road in a game with no offensive touchdowns.  Clearly they have a defense capable of winning a game on its own which would make them a dangerous playoff team.  On the other hand, how can the Colts have scored no offensive touchdowns against the Browns? 

The Big Fraud About the Broncos

The popular opinion about the Broncos is that they are a pass-only one-dimensional team. The Broncos lack of a running game has been GREATLY exaggerated.  As a team they rank 5th in the NFL averaging 4.5 yards per carry.  It is true that they lack a big-time running back but when they do run they are more effective than most.  If you want to look at a real one-dimensional team, look no further than the Cardinals.  They are the 3rd highest scoring team in the league but rank last in the league in rushing yards per attempt (3.3).  

Last week, our sim-team went 9-7.  Our record on the year is 110-76-1.  Let's get to the games...

Prediction:  Titans 20 v. Lions 16

Actual:  Titans 47 v. Lions 10

After the but-kicking the Lions took, I think the turkeys on Thanksgiving got off easy.

Prediction:  Seahawks 17 v. Cowboys 24

Actual: Seahawks 9 v. Cowboys 34

With Matt Hasselbeck starting for the Seahawks and Julius Jones returning to Dallas for some revenge this was supposed to be a good game.  I watched the game.  I have a question for Mike Holmgren and the Seahawks' offense.  What was that?

Prediction: Cardinals 17 v. Eagles 27

Actual: Cardinals 20 v. Eagles 48

The Eagles and Donovan McNabb aren't dead... yet.

Prediction:  49ers 12 v. Bills 17

Actual: 49ers 10 v. Bills 3

Remember way back three weeks ago when the Bills were good?

Prediction: Ravens 13 v. Bengals 20

Actual: Ravens 34 v. Bengals 3

The Bengals have turned into to NFL version of The Citadel. 

Prediction: Panthers 16 v. Packers 24

Actual: Panthers 35 v. Packers 31

Ladies and Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to Steve Smith!

Prediction:  Giants 20 v. Redskins 9

Actual: Giants 23 v. Redskins 7

The Giants win another one in dominant fashion.   If this were the BCS I would still rank the Browns ahead of them though based on head-to-head record.

Prediction: Saints 13 v. Buccaneers 24

Actual: Saints 20 v. Buccaneers 23

Something tells me that the single season passing record for Drew Brees just got a lot more important now that the Saints season is four weeks from being over.

Prediction: Colts 28 v. Browns 21

Actual: Colts 10 v. Browns 6

Next week, the Colts play another pansy (the Bengals) in what has been a "misdemeanors-row" of opponents (Texans, Chargers, Browns, Bengals, Lions, and Jaguars).

Prediction: Dolphins 20 v. Rams 15

Actual: Dolphins 16 v. Rams 12

No matter what happens, the Dolphins season has been a success.

Prediction: Falcons 20 v. Chargers 27

Actual: Falcons 22 v. Chargers 16

The Falcons are the team the Chargers aspire to be.

Prediction: Chiefs 24 v. Raiders 16

Actual: Chiefs 20 v. Raiders 13

Maybe the "Tyler Thigpen is GREAT" crowd can start hanging out with the "JaMarcus Russell will save this franchise" crowd.  These two quarterbacks were 25/50 combined with no touchdowns and 1 INT. 

Prediction: Steelers 19 v. Patriots 31

Actual: Steelers 33 v. Patriots 10

The Patriots were not the only ones who have underestimated the strength of the Steelers.  Next week's Cowboys-Steelers game will be huge.

Prediction: Broncos 16 v. Jets 21

Actual: Broncos 34 v. Jets 17

Last week's team of the year: the Jets.  This week's team of the year: the Broncos.

Prediction:  Bears 19 v. Vikings 21

Actual: Bears 14 v. Vikings 34

I for one did not see Gus Frerotte leading the Vikings to the playoffs but that is what is happening.

Prediction: Jaguars 20 v. Texans 15

Actual: Jaguars 17 v. Texans 30

I could have sworn I saw the Louisville Cardinals win that game.